Here’s some ideas for the thoughtless and rude among us:

If you want someone to do something for you, try using the word please. It tends to get better results.

If you want someone to do something for you, and they’ve requested that you do something for them on three different occasions (like, perhaps, return an item), try doing what they’ve asked of you before asking them to do something for you.

Treat a person with respect and you will get respect in return. If you choose to continuously disrespect a person, don’t act surprised and indignant when that person turns on you like a rabid dog.

Be honest and upright in your dealings with people. Lies are for the weak. Honesty is a far better policy.

How you choose to treat others is far more telling of your true nature than any words you may spew on Teh Internets.

I’ve had a few people ask me about this recently, and given all the posts I have running about it, it’s no wonder. So let’s go into it a bit, shall we?

Codependency has as many definitions as you can imagine, and there are several patterns of codependent behavior that can manifest. One such defines it as a set of maladaptive, compulsive behaviors learned by family members in order to survive in a family which is experiencing great emotional pain and stress. Patterns of codependency generally fall into four categories: denial, low self-esteem, compliance, and control. A codependent person will manifest patterns of more than one of the categories, and very often, all four.

There is argument between scholars as to whether or not it is a disorder or a disease, such as alcoholism. Being a layperson, I can’t really say either way. All I can talk about is what it is to me, how it manifests, and how it has shaped my life.

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*sigh* I kept hoping this would all be a bad dream, and I’d wake up and it would all be over. Alas, that is not to be.

Today, Dear Leader urged Congress to pass the FMA.

If you haven’t already done so, please take the time to send a letter to your senator voicing your objection to this action. We cannot allow a constitutional amendment that treats our brothers and sisters as second-class citizens.

Today’s grand adventure involved kayaks and rock walls. Yes, yours truly scaled a rock wall. I have the bruises to prove it!

The day started with a lovely drive through wine country and ended up just on the other side of the state line in the Shenandoah Valley in West Virginia. There was food aplenty and kayaking on the Shenandoah. Okay, I admit, not near even the slightest of rapids, but good upper body work all the same. I enjoyed the feel of the river beneath me, the sky above me, and the cool water splashing me as I happily paddled up and down our short stretch of river.

As I watched others gleefully scale the rock wall, I stayed back, thinking there was no way in hell that was about to become a part of my life. After a bit of cajoling, I finally allowed myself to be strapped in to a safety harness and up I went. Admittedly, this was the easy side of the wall, but I went up with no problems, no pauses, and no second tries. I have never done this before! After jumping down and going to massage my poor thighs from the beating they just took I found myself asking to be strapped in again and trying a harder side. I didn’t make it to the top, broke about three nails, bruised up my knees, but damn I had fun!

I think I just found a new hobby.

Okay, so like, you know, I went through this here break up thing right? Except, it’s still going on. We are still all tangled up financially, and I live in this house with his ghost flittering around (he took pretty much nothing but a few of his clothes and computer when he left). Dear Goddess, I’ve been trying like hell to get through this, but having such a hard time due to the memories in this place, his ghost refusing to leave, and just being so fucking tied to someone who … well, someone who I shouldn’t be tied to.

Anyway, so here I am, living in this overpriced house, wondering how I’m going to make ends meet. Hell, if I could get them to just wave at each other it’d be a miracle! Been house hunting like you wouldn’t believe, but rentals are crazy in this area. I promised my kids I wouldn’t move them to another school district since we’ve only been here a year. We were in the last place only two years (one day this whole insane story is going to be written), and the thought of having to move to new schools again sends them into emotional seizures.

Today, my realtor sends me a link to review four places. And the first one on the list? Perfect. It could not be more perfect if I had listed everything I need and handed it to someone and said, “Here you go, hook me up.” The catch? It’s available now, and the lease here doesn’t end until July 31. It’s a rare owner that will wait for your happy ass to move in. If they’ll wait, I’m set. I’ll give them the deposit now, maybe even first month’s rent if that’s what it takes, and viola, one less thing for Sabre to stress over.

One step closer to a place of my own, with no ghosts to haunt me, no broken promises to cut me, no memories to sting me. A place where my kids are still in the same school district, my four legged children are welcome, and a rent I can afford. But mostly, a place with no ghosts.

Think good thoughts for us.