Okay, so I haven’t been updating this the way I should. I’m sorry! I got lost over on myspace
I’ve just added a few entries from the last month, mostly just rambling incoherent thoughts. I promise to update more, I swear! I just need to move this to a new host, get better software, and find an answer to my spam problem.

Yet more stuff on my list o’ crap to deal with!

So I’m sitting here, pissy because I have no cigarettes and because I don’t want to be alone but I can’t be around all my smoking friends right now. How do I fix this?

Retail therapy, baybee!

Trotted my hiney up to Linens N Things last night and bought all new bedding. When I came home I unpacked my room and put all my stuff away. You would not believe how much of a girl I am when it comes to my room! Mostly my house is not so girly (shut up about the baskets, it is NOT!), but my room? Wow. Teddy bears, Barbies (don’t even whisper it), and stuff. Girl stuff. Lots and lots of it. Baubles and shineys and sparklies, soft material and soft lighting, a nice warm place for me to hide.

I got everything put away, cleaned and polished, and washed all the new bedding. Tossed it on the bed and crawled between the softest sheets I have ever laid on. I eyed the 1000 thread count sheets, but at $150 for a set, I went for the 650 instead.

Oh.My.God. Chocolate colored pure heaven.

*sigh* Hey, I may be sleeping alone, but I’m sleeping in style dammit! I may never leave home again.

I should never say this out loud, but it’s true, okay? So just deal with it.

I do not generally make mistakes. I would say, simply, that I do not make mistakes, but I’m pretty sure that I’ve made at least one or two. Everyone does, right? I’m recalling this one time back in ‘99 that I really goofed up, so there ya go.

Here’s the thing though, when dealing with something that may potentially adversely affect our subscribers, I go out of my way to test, retest, and test some more to make sure that everything runs smoothly and there is no chance for interrupted service. It’s like, oh, I don’t know, mission critical.

Our vendor, OTOH, that handles our subscription fulfillment and login authentication, they seem to have no trouble jerking shit up so that our damn subscribers (who pay thousands upon thousands for this service, I might add) can’t access the gd services they are paying for.

Okay, so most of our subscribers have more money than they know what to do with, and the anarchist in me finds it really funny that they spend so much cash trying to figure out how to make more cash, but still. It’s a service that I’m responsible for them being able to access and when they can’t, you just KNOW who the first person to hear about it is. Okay, the third person, but damn.

I am so sick of dealing with a vendor who is making me look bad! Assholes!

I’m going to kick someone in the head now. Right after pulling off my nicotine patch and licking it several times.

*sigh*

I made it through yesterday without breaking down, caving in, and doing anything rash or foolish. I spent the night hooking up my dvd player (again!) and running cable all over the place to get the surround sound set up. I still need to tuck the cables in better and I desperately need some zip ties to clean up the mess behind the TV, but at least I’m not tripping over wires now!

I actually sat down for a little bit last night and watched television. How fucking weird! I haven’t really done that a hell of a lot in the last several months. I have my dvr set to record SG1 and Atlantis, and last night I finally watched the season premier of SG1. I am not a nerd, shut up!

Oh, and I ate cheesecake, which is always good for the soul. Not too much though, goddess only knows how much weight I’m going to gain just because I quit smoking, I’m not tempting fate.

I’m feeling a little better today, but I’d still really rather just say fuck it and light up. I can’t wait for the feeling to pass. My smoking pals at work are all pretty cool about me quitting, no wicked temptation or anything, but I still want to go outside with them 30 times a day and light up. Especially yesterday, what a nightmare!

I can do this, I’ve done it before. This time I will make it past a couple of years and make it permanent!

Update: It’s happening again! The problem at work yesterday that caused me to pull my hair out… AAAAIIIIEEEEE. I need a damn cigarette.