20 Ways to Become the Worst Ex in History
We’ve all either experienced it, heard about it, or done it ourselves. You know what I’m talking about. The completely insane things that people do after a breakup.
For your reading pleasure, a list of the 20 most whackjob things to do to earn your spot as the worst ex in history. Gender is used interchangeably people, don’t get your panties in a wad.
1. Devote your myspace profile to your new relationship. Email your ex and tell him how much you miss him. Ask him to check out your new pictures.
2. Drunk-dial your ex in the middle of the night. Tell her you love her and can’t live without her. Then start yelling at her and telling her what a bitch she is.
3. Call his mother, tell her what an asshole her son is.
4. Find out where she hangs out on Friday night now that she’s single. Go there. Buy drinks for her friends.
5. Text message your ex 27 times in a row, begging him to please call you.
6. Leave “anonymous” comments on her blog about what a slut she is.
7. Tell anyone who will listen, especially anyone who knows him, that you think he has VD.
8. Upload the private pictures you took of her to alt.sex.escorts.ads, include her phone number and email address.
9. Call him and tell him that you think you are pregnant. Bonus points if you are having your period when you make the call.
10. Call her sister. Tell her how awful the ex was to you. Use tears. Score a date with the sister.
11. Build a website dedicated to what a jerk he is. Post the url everywhere.
12. Ask her to come over so you can talk. When she arrives, tell her what you think is wrong with her. When she protests, tell her to get the hell out of your house.
13. Confront him in a parking lot. Go crazy. Call the police and tell them he hit you.
14. Tell her you want to get back together. Bring her flowers and spend the night with her. In the morning, tell her you’ve changed your mind.
15. Show up at his office unannounced. Make a scene. Bonus points if security is called.
16. Call the radio station nightly to dedicate songs to her.
17. Get his best friend drunk. Take him home. Do things with him that you refused to do with your ex.
18. Leave a teddy bear and flowers on her car. Include a note saying that if you can’t have her, no one will.
19. Email his new girlfriend. Warn her that he’s a real creep. Insult her for going out with him.
20. Drive by her house several times a week. Bonus points if you have to go out of your way to get there.
There you go, my list of 20 ways to be a complete and total whackjob after a breakup. Have one? Share it in the comments!