Typecasting
For the last several weeks I’ve been attending weekly training sessions here at work. Sort of interesting, I suppose. Yesterday was actually even entertaining. Most of what we cover, however, I already know, but when your boss signs you up for classes designed to further your career within the company, you can’t really say, “Oh, no, that’s cool, I already know that.” Well, you could, but it may reflect poorly on you later when you are telling explaining to your boss that you need a raise and a promotion tout de suite.
*cough* Moving on.
In preparation for said training, we all had to take the MBTI personality assessment. Whee. I absolutely hate being labeled, and having to take this damn thing again just whizzed in my cheerios. I avoided it for weeks and waited until the last possible moment to do it. I would have rather skipped it altogether, but, you know, once again, we go back to how things affect your career path. *sigh*
If I tell you that I’m an ENTJ, would you be horrifically surprised? No, didn’t think so. Some people have said that they test out differently if they take it at different points in their life. Yours truly, not so much. I have always been this way, and suspect I will always remain this way.
Thing is, it doesn’t bother me. Or, at least, it didn’t bother me. Yesterday brought me more than just entertainment. I am comfortable with who I am. I know that my personality is the size of Texas, I’m okay with that. I know that I have a habit of completely taking over a room, and I’m okay with that. I know that I sometimes come across as, uh, harsh, and I’m okay with that. What I don’t realize, because I sometimes live in my own little world and sometimes view “feelings” as something extraneous and messy, is the frequency in which I appear to be harsh or judgmental to others.
Okay, look, let’s just lay this out. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, I am rarely, if ever wrong. I have a natural ability to see things as they are, not as we want them to be. I have always found this skill to be very useful tool. If a project is bound to fail, I’m the usually first to see it, call it, and find a solution for it. Good, yes? Apparently not to some people.
Bah.
There are several of us from the IT group in this training, and we all tested out the same way. Which explains why we all get along so well and there are very few departmental issues between co-workers. We understand one another, and no one gets their feelings all bent out of shape over little things that would tweak others. It works.
Generally speaking, I get along with most other departments very well. I’m considered to be a problem solver, and am often the first one people think of when there is a new web project to begin or when they have come across a problem that they cannot solve. It’s a blessing and a curse. I have a very good reputation, but I’m sometimes so overwhelmed with work that I can’t think straight. Good thing I like my work, eh?
Now, keep in mind, it is not, as has been inferred by someone who shall remain nameless, that I don’t feel, or don’t feel enough. It’s that I tend to keep my feelings separated from what is logical. Like I said, sometimes I find them to be messy. Which, for me, I suppose, is okay. It is not okay for others.
What I’m finding, as I sit through this training, observing how others act and react, is that I have a very hard time relating to anyone who scored high in Feeling instead of Thinking. Nor do they particularly relate to me. They see me as being far more harsh than I see myself as being, and I see them as being far too illogical (and maybe even a touch whiney) than they see themselves as being. However, I think it’s easier for them to understand me than it is for me to understand them simply because they are a lot more empathic.
So the challenge is to find a way to deal with them more productively. I spent a lot of time thinking about this yesterday, trying to find a solution to my problem. And I think, I hope, that I may have found, at least for now, a workable solution.
Last night, as I was coming to a slow burn regarding Cricket’s homework, or rather, her consistent disregard of homework and slowly plunging grades, I had to come to a complete halt in my thought processes. I forced myself to internally pull back, chill out, and deal with it differently instead of the usual response, which is giving her flack for having not completed it again.
Because my daughter, bless her heart, is very obviously a Feeler. Having to step back and try to see it from her perspective (”I hate homework, I’d rather draw”), instead of the black and white of my perspective (”no homework == bad grades”), was very difficult. But, you know, I fumbled through it all the same. Not because I was feeling much of anything, besides heavy annoyance, but because it occurred to me that going to battle with her was completely illogical.
My world is clean, black and white, logical and ordered. But I don’t live in my world. I live in a world that is messy, colorful, and very chaotic. Adapting is uncomfortable, but I suppose it must be done if I am to continue to grow as a human being.
And no, Smirky Smirkerson, I am not admitting that I have been wrong in how I move through life, nor am I going to all of a sudden become Missy Nicey Nice, just that perhaps there is room for me to build upon the way in which I deal with others. And it’s not about making others comfortable, it simply follows logic. I get a better ROI if I work within someone else’s framework than if I force them to work within mine, especially if they are unable to see things as I do. Besides, as Einstein said, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Who am I to argue with genius?
First one of you hooligans to say I’ve over thought this gets a boot to da head. Feelings be damned.