Decaf?
A friend of mine just suggested decaf… I told her that she had a filthy mouth and needed to wash it out with soap.
For you addicts, here’s a few signs you’ve been drinking too much coffee:
Juan Valdez names his donkey after you
You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth
You sleep with your eyes open
You have to watch videos in fast-forward
You lick your coffee pot clean
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse
You can type sixty words a minute with your feet
You can jump-start your car without cables
Your only sources of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low”
You don’t sweat, you percolate
You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee
You’ve worn the finish off you coffee table
The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you
Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on your house
You’re so wired you pick up FM radio
Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans”
Instant coffee takes too long
You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can
You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar”
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup