The most basic explanation ever of why Huckabee cannot be allowed to be the next Preznit Numbnuts:
Forget the pandering to the Religious Right. Forget the ignorant comments about Mormons (oh you fucking idiot, you really said that didn’t you?) Forget everything and go with common sense, of which he clearly has none.
And people seriously wonder why I hate his guts?
Gentlemen, come here. Mistress Sabre feels the need to impart some wisdom on your asses.
I have a couple of guy friends, pretty decent sorts overall, who are on various dating sites. Which, you know, fine. But these guys also happen to be in long term relationships. Of course, that’s sort of taking away from that whole “pretty decent sort” thing, but there you go.
Fran and I generally refer to this as the “Angelina Jolie Syndrome.” As in Angelina Jolie could very well be right around the corner and a fellow would be wise to keep his options open. Because, you know, Angelina wants you.
*cough*
I’ve been mulling this over in my head a lot over the last month. You could say I’ve had reason to consider all of the ramifications of this trend, but really, let’s just not go there.
Guys, you are right, there -is- someone prettier, smarter, nicer, sexier than your girl. There always will be. And yeah, she might even want to go out with you. So go ahead, keep your options open. Do your thing. Cruise the dating sites, hell register on the trashy hook-up sites, get all freaky with it.
And while you’re doing your thing, don’t look so fucking surprised when your girl gets tired of the bullshit and starts considering -her- options. Because there is someone hotter, smarter, nicer, and more respectful than you. There are men who don’t spend their free time thinking the grass is greener in the neighbor’s yard and trying to figure out how to hop the fence with no one the wiser. Sooner or later, she’s going to realize that, and you will be history.
Believe it.
Representative Steve King (Repug-IA) is sponsoring this insanity:
H. Res. 847: Recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith
First Amendment, motherfucker!
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”
Treaty of Tripoli, bitch!
Article 11: “As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Mussulmen; and, as the said States never entered into any war, or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties, that no pretext arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.”
Who elects these assholes? Seriously, own up to it, because I’m coming to your house and kicking your fucking ass.
“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.”
“Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.”
“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.”
Would someone be so kind as to get one of those to my office? Today, maybe?
I’ve been craving bacon for days now (not a -single- quip from the peanut gallery about law enforcement, not -one-) and have put in a request for a bacon vending machine at work. I figure they’ll just laugh at me again, like they did the last three times I asked.
If this trend continues, I’m going to have to break down and actually cook it my damn self. Which, if you know me, know is not one of my favorite things to do. It’s just so messy!
*dramatic sigh*
Whatever is a girl to do?
So, we have snow, right? Bad enough I’m freezing my delicate little bottom off, but I have to contend with crappy drivers, too?
*insert copious amounts of swearing here*
What the hell is wrong with the entire DC Metro area? It’s not a blizzard, people. You can go faster than 5 miles an hour. No, really, I swear, you can do it. Unless, you know, you are hitting the beltway flying down the on ramp. Then, you might want to slow down a little bit with your damned SUV.
Fuckin’ idiots. I’m going to have Dad reserve a special place just for you.