Naval Gazing: Perception is reality… sort of.
A conversation I was having with a friend a couple of weeks ago has been rattling around in my brain today. Perception versus reality. One of the points I was trying to make is that while his perception is his reality, he has to allow room for other’s “reality” to get tangled up in it.
When we look at the world from our own viewpoints, as we do simply because we are complex emotional beings with an inherent sense of self, we see our own truth. How we think and feel forms the basis for how we believe others think and feel. At the same time, the face that we present to the world guides others’ perceptions in who they think we are.
I struggle with this.
Our own personal (t)ruth should not be confused with the (T)ruth. The Truth is tangible, measurable, quantifiable. That wall is made of concrete block, that road is paved. Those things can be measured, quantified. They are True. That wall is also unattractive. To me, that’s the truth, but it’s my perception and it cannot be measured.
How I perceive others is based largely upon how they present themselves to me, but also on my own experiences with other people. It’s difficult sometimes, because while people may sometimes do something that someone else has done, I have to remind myself that reacting to it as if they were the other person is going to come out all sorts of wrong. While they may have done something identical, their basis for doing it is probably not the same. Because their perception of reality is entirely different from the other person’s.
I know that how others perceive me is based very much on how I present myself. Some people dislike me immensely, as hard as that is for me to swallow. Usually it is because they perceive me to be a total hardass, with little room for error. Other people love and adore me, which, oddly enough, is also hard for me to swallow. Usually those people feel the way they do about me because they perceive me to be warm and loving and forgiving of mistakes.
Am I really either of those things? Neither? Both? I have no idea. I’m still trying to figure that out myself. However, I am often dismayed at how I believe others perceive me. How I perceive them to perceive me. Yeah, wrap your head around that one. Especially when it is not in the light I’d like to be seen in.
But here’s the catch. I could change things, perhaps say less of this and more of that. Do more of this and less of that. Maybe even learn to bat my lashes, stop flipping people off, and ask for help every now and again. Would I be perceived differently? Would anyone be able to see who I really am, the truth of me?
Would I want them to?
I struggle with this.