Office Warfare - The *** Way
Our company is getting ready to relocate to a new facility, and in an effort to stop cramming us all into shared offices, they decided an “open collaborative environment” was the way to go. Great, I’ll be a cube monkey. However, on a positive note, my team’s upper management has approved Nerf warfare in the new facility. Rawk! On! I know a few guys who are goin’ -down-… and not in the nice way!
Meantime, since we are moving and having a complete office space make-over, it’s been decided that many items in the current building are up for grabs. Chairs, desks, bookcases, pretty much everything. I laid claim to the only currently available corner desk this morning. I got in early and my boss and I wandered the building doing a little bit of “shopping.”
Most everything that has been labeled as free has been spoken for. All items labeled such have bright yellow signs on them. The deal is, you get to it first, put your name on the sign, shoot an email over to dude down the hall, and it’s yours. Some wise guy decided to plaster everything else in the building with white signs.
One white-sign item has become a hotly prized commodity and several of us are bidding on it and prepared to scrap it out. What could such an item be? Is it a fax machine? Perhaps an uber snazzy coffee pot? One of the many copies of Monet?
Nope!
It’s the personal items vending machine in the ladies room.
That’s right, bitchez! We are fighting over the tampon dispenser! Now how often do you think -that- happens?
*** What? You think I’d tell you guys where I fricking work? Hells no! You’ll be wanting in on the tampon action too, and there’s already too much competition!