I am a bit of a stubborn creature who tends to believe she can do anything she puts her mind to. I very rarely ask anyone for help, usually for two reasons. I’ve found that either people will help you and then later hold it over your head, or they will say they will help you and then simply don’t. So, you know, I’ve developed this whole “I can do it by myself” motto.

It’s frustrated more than a few friends, and plenty of boyfriends, but I just smile and say, “I am not a kitten stuck up in tree!” However, in an attempt to be more reasonable, I’ve been practicing asking for help, to a degree.

Recently, I asked a good friend of mine if he’d help me clean my gutters. It seemed like one of those simple jobs that I couldn’t bring myself to pay someone else to do. He agreed to help, but he’s usually pretty busy on the weekends, and coming over to help me clean gutters isn’t real high on his list of things to do. Not high on mine either, but it’s something that I needed to get done. Besides, Jim has a pretty little car he tinkers with, and weekends of sunshine usually involve the car. I totally get that.

I mentioned to another friend that I was frustrated with the whole situation and he offered to get the ladder from Jim and help me out. I was very adamant that all I needed him to do was get the ladder and hold it. I can do this, you know!

So we wander over to Jim’s yesterday afternoon and strap the ladder to John’s little CR-V. Get it home, get it set up. I’m staring at the ladder thinking to myself, “Woman, this is foolish. The hell are you thinking?!” But we’ve come this far, let’s just do it.

John kept offering to go up to the roof and do it. But, again, “I can do it myself!” *sigh* One day I’m going to learn. So I scurry up the ladder, actually, more like cautiously convince myself to go up the ladder, and manage to get on the roof. I find I can’t get to where I need to be to effectively clean the gutters. John finally convinces me to let him do it. All I have to do is get down and he’ll come up and do it. I’m hot, sweaty, and frustrated, so I agree.

The problem arises when I realize I can’t bring myself to turn around and back off of the roof slowly onto the ladder. The roof was steeper than I had realized, and there was nothing for me to effectively hold on to. The ladder was just at the roof line, so nothing really for me to hold on to there. I panic, scurry back up the roof, and take a break. I try again after a few minutes, and go into full panic.

I’m on my roof, crying, not sure how I’m going to get down, and I keep having visions of me missing the ladder as I try to climb off and going splat all over the front yard. John comes up and tries to talk me into coming down the ladder with him. I try again. By this point, I’m visibly shaking and my eyes are beginning to resemble that lovely deer in the headlights look. At this point, John has recognized, I think, the fact that there is no way in hell I am coming down on that little ladder and offers to call the fire department.

He’s trying to get me to laugh, but I’m still freaked out and thinking I’m going to die any minute now. I am trying to laugh at the situation, but I’m not doing such a great job of it. About this time, the neighbors come home and are staring at me. I explain what happened, and one of their guests brightly asks, “Can I take a picture?” No you may not take a picture of me like this! My neighbor and his friend are convinced they can get me down. So my neighbor comes up and gently tries to talk me down. He keeps telling me it’s okay. But every single time I try to back off the roof, I start shaking and crying. So he tells me it’s fine, the fire department is going to come.

At this point, there are now several neighbors outside watching the show. John is on the phone trying to explain how blondie got herself stuck. Ten minutes later, the real show starts, as the fire department pulls into my neighborhood with not one, but two trucks. Oh, and sirens too. And two other vehicles. I’m a lovely shade of red and so damn embarrassed I can’t think straight. I hollar down to John that there had better be a beer waiting for me when I get down.

They took one look at the ladder we had and decided that wasn’t going to work. So they grab another ladder, one that I can actually see at the edge of the roof, and up comes a lovely young man to guide me down. I’m still tweaked and crying, but he finally convinces me to come down with him, and he helps me off the roof and down the ladder.

As my feet hit the ground, my audience, which now includes roughly ten to twelve firemen and twenty neighbors, bursts into applause. John hands me a nice cold beer and I curtsy to the audience, because, really what else is there to do?

The big question everyone wants to know, “Did you get the gutters clean?” Chea, right. I’ll pay someone, really. They can have the money. Seriously. It’s just not worth it.

On a very serious note, the guys down at the local station are a great bunch. They were extremely gracious and told me it was perfectly fine, as they hadn’t had a single call all day and I was the only entertainment. Cricket wants to bake brownies for them, and I’ll be bringing something down. I told them I’d come in today, but they let me know that they’d all be gone on Sunday, but back in Friday night. Guess I’ll be over there Friday with edible gifts of appreciation.

And you know, while I enjoy meeting men… really? This is not the way I’d like to do it! I am not a kitten stuck up in a tree, dammit! But I guess, at least for a little while, I was a kitten stuck on a roof. Somehow I know I will never live this down.

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 19th, 2009 at 1:47 pm and is filed under Just Another Day in the Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.