All right, all right… I get it.  I haven’t posted much on any of the social networking sites, and I’ve gotten several inquiries as to my whereabouts and well being.  Well, my whereabouts are easy.  I’m in Leesburg, people.  LEESBURG.

As you’ve no doubt heard me grouse about before, my previous residence had two major issues.  One being that it was pretty much a given that any time it rained steadily for several days, my family room became the indoor swimming pool.  The second issue was the lack of response or concern on the part of the landlord.  Even an independent woman like me can only take so much before she contemplates tossing herself off the side of the American Legion Bridge on the way home from work.

Being somewhat lacking in savings (oh, big shocker there, I’m sure), I had very few options available to me.  I had once joked with the Pseudo Hubby that if it all kept up, I was packing up and moving to his place.  He made the foolish mistake of saying, “Fine with me.”  The joke became reality at the end of June.  Goddess Sabre, with the help of some very good friends, put the vast majority of her belongings into storage and moved to Leesburg.

LEESBURG.  Christ on a pony, the hell am I doing out here?

And that leads us to my well being.  Mini-Me was not, is not, happy about this relocation, as temporary as it may be, and was stressing me to the breaking point.  It was becoming a point of mine to stay at work, or out with friends, as long as possible to avoid the daily confrontation of how much this all sucks.  Miss Mini-Me is currently in TN visiting friends and then will be heading to FL to visit family, so that little piece of stress is gone.

On the job front, well, let’s just say I’ve been happier.  There are things in motion outside of the office though, and I’ve got the feeling that my current unhappiness, much like this new residency, is also temporary.  Let’s just say I’m keeping my options open and my horizons far.

Not much is happening on the dating front, but that has less to do with a lack of suitable dates and more with my disinterest right now.  My living situation is somewhat complicated, and I really don’t think I’d like to complicate it even more.  Although, that is not to say that if Keanu Reeves showed up and asked me out, I’d turn him down.  I’d be out the door faster than you can say, “There is no spoon.”

As to my complicated living situation, well I’ll leave that for you to decipher and figure out.  It is all of what you think and none of what you think at the same time.  And although I’ll probably go hang myself for spouting these words, it is what it is.  (I feel unclean now…)

I haven’t been online much for a few reasons.  The biggest being that I’m just so damn tired all the time, I can’t work up the energy.  I’ve tacked on an additional 20+ minutes to my morning commute and another 30+ on the evening commute.  By the time I get home, being online just doesn’t sound very appealing.  However, because I love you all OH SO MUCH, I’ll try to make a better effort.  That should at least take care of the “oh my god are you alive?!?” emails and IMs I am getting.

In all honesty, I’m having fun in my current situation.  Things are not ideal, they never are, but I’m looking at the bright side and contemplating what tomorrow will bring.  And when I do get caught up in the “oh my fucking god what the hell am I doing?!” moments, I’m trying like hell to keep that to myself.  There’s no point in talking about it, it’s not changing anytime soon, so I’m taking a bit of my own advice and having a good, strong cup of shut the fuck up.

There are some pretty heavy changes on the horizon, but I’m not about to jinx anything by talking about it just yet.  There’s a few very interesting possibilities for my life taking shape, and I’m still contemplating which direction I want to go.

Which was, actually, part of the point of this whole relocation anyway.  To give me a little time and leeway to plan and build a future I could sustain without killing myself.  Pseudo Hubby is effectively supporting me while I get my act together.  It’s a bit strange, because I’m used to taking care of myself, but once I got past the initial distaste of relying on anyone, I’m finding it oddly comforting.  I don’t have to stress and freak out about all the usual adult things.  All I have to do is straighten out my finances, get myself back on track, plan a future I want, and make it real.  And I am fortunate enough to get to do that without having to deal with landlords, leaky foundations, overpriced utilities, and trying to figure out what bill I’m going to pay late this month.

There’s no big push from him to get it done now.  There’s no pressure to hurry up.  Which is not to say that there’s no internal pressure.  Believe me, no one pressures me the way I pressure me.  But I’m starting to realize that I don’t have to do everything all at once.  I don’t have to run around with my hair on fire trying to conquer every little damn thing.  I’m still having to force myself to stop staring at my savings account and stop obsessing over how and when I’m going to be ready to move on.  But I’m getting there.

I’m getting there.

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 30th, 2009 at 4:30 pm and is filed under Just Another Day in the Life, Navel Gazing and Random Rambling. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.