I have had, as you can undoubtedly guess, many conversations with friends regarding the things that are important to me during this election cycle. One of the things that I keep hearing from my friends who support McCain/Palin is there is seriously no way that Roe v. Wade will ever be overturned. That they cannot believe such a thing would ever happen. They seem shocked.

When I state that Palin opposes abortion in the cases of rape and incest, I’m told that I shouldn’t believe everything I read in blogs. People, start researching your candidates! I am not making this stuff up, bloggers aren’t making this stuff up.

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All right ladies, this one is for you.

Ever go out with that guy, you know the one, he is sure to tell you that he’s a “Nice Guy” and nothing at all like all the other guys you’ve dated? Only to find out later, that no, really, he’s pretty much an asshole?

Wouldn’t it be handy if you had a comparison chart, with all the telltale signs and red flags of the “Nice Guy”, the Douchebag, and the Asshole? A way, perhaps, to cross reference each category and find out where your guy falls on the scale?

Well, here we were, Cathy and I, chatting in AIM, laughing over some of the most notable signs and flags, and it came to me that this chart is almost desperately needed by today’s dating woman. Sure, you can go online and look at the top ten signs of a douchebag, or the definition of a Nice Guy, and certainly you know an asshole when you see one.

But wouldn’t it be nice if we put that together into one handy and easy to use chart? Sure it would.

So ladies, tell me, how do -you- define one of these creatures? What are your little red flags? I’m going to spend a little time compiling and making a chart for cross comparison. If for nothing else than to give us something to giggle over for hours on end.

…always come back to haunt them.

Sometimes you gotta get damn angry to get beyond. And you can pretty much color me righteously pissed the hell off.

Everything you do in your life comes back to you at some point, and the way we treat others will come back around. I did something once that I should not have done, it was done out of petty spite, and it came back to me in the form of someone else doing something to me. Karma is a bitch.

It’s all well and fine to find yourself in the position of being someone else’s Karma, but eventually, someone else is going to be yours. Everything comes back around.

Promise.

What the hell is up with “friends” who don’t understand the meaning of the word “no” and keep insisting that the best way to get over a broken heart is to have sex with them? Obviously, that’s not a friend. More like, ugh, a vulture.

Last night I was slightly put off, but when I got up this morning, I realized I was actually pretty damn pissed off.

When a woman says no, respect it.

When a woman asks you to stop touching her, just stop.

When a woman asks you to leave, just get the fuck out.

The funny thing is, there was a small chance that at some point I might have become interested in him. That small chance has gone to absolute no fucking way in hell thanks to his lack of understanding the word no.

The part that has got my knickers in a twist the most? I didn’t even realize how pissed off I was until I woke up. I separated myself from my emotions last night and refused to acknowledge them. I tried to focus on the positive aspects of the evening, tried to find a reason to believe that this was NOT happening to me again.

Screw this, leaving town for the day. I’m beginning to hate NoVa. I’m outa here. Back tomorrow.

An old friend of mine sent me this gem this morning (I’ve been so wrapped up in crazyland I haven’t read the news in a few days):

“The Iraqi government is now calling for a timetable for the withdrawal of American troops, but the Bush administration is trying to downplay those calls despite a re-ignited debate on the presidential campaign trail.”

Can we just be decent world citizens and work with the Iraqi government on their terms? Better yet, someone give every single bastard in the current administration a blow job so we can fucking impeach them. Because, clearly, crimes against humanity don’t matter.

A friend of mine sent me some great stuff via email this morning. I mean, seriously, great stuff. Interesting stuff. Educational stuff.

He tells me that there’s tons of this stuff out there, all of these guides for guys for dating. Except, see, they aren’t really guides for dating. More like guides for how to be a total douche bag and get laid a lot.

Awesome.

In short, the premise is that the more elusive you are, the more she’ll want you. The more you don’t call her, the more you pretend you don’t notice her, the more “busy” you make yourself, the more she’ll throw herself at you. It’s all just one big game. And who wins is he who gets laid the most.

Or something.

Some guys tell me this shit works, I’ve heard more from my guy friends about “power structure” and “keeping them guessing” than I care to admit. And I guess it must or there wouldn’t be so much information online devoted to treating women like toys.

Here’s the catch though. The women who have self-esteem and a sense of worth? The ones who are solid and moving somewhere in their life? They aren’t going to like your little game, gentlemen. And eventually they’ll get tired of playing and they’ll wander off and find someone else to play with.

Someone who treats them with respect and courtesy. Someone who knows how to show a woman that he truly cares for her and wants to be with her.

Just a thought.

The AP is reporting record foreclosures for the first quarter of 2008. Ouch.

The President, who is so smart and stuff, declared June to be National Homeownership Month.

Srsly, I can’t even begin to comment on the monumental stupid.

Posted with no comment… ‘cept *bwahahahahahahahaha* that’s funny!

If you have to think about it, yeah, you are.

From the Why Do I Read This Shit Files:

My morning perusal of various blogs and forums brought me this lovely bit of joy that I simply had to share with you:

I just wanted to add something about the women’s movement and my experiences. I graduated from high school in 1992 and I remember the year that I graduated all the girls in my class were totally obsessed with going to college and had no interest in the boys. I don’t think anyone in my class dated to be honest. My class was a bunch of mostly loserish guys and psycho obsessive girls bent on proving they were the same as men(which I don’t believe they are).

Clearly, because -he- couldn’t get a date, no one was dating.

Satan has totally tricked men and women into thinking they don’t need each other. Men with pornography and women with women’s lib. I have to actually applaud Satan at how smart he is. He has totally destroyed the male population and put women in charge. That would be ok if women really were exactly the same as men but that is a lie too.

Hey Dad? While you are out destroying the souls of men with your evil, evil pornography, do you think that maybe you could put me in charge of something cool? This guy says you are putting women in charge. Why am I always left out?! Why have you forsaken me?!

*ahem*

Moving on.

The world now is a complete perversion from God’s plan for us. The only reason the US is still a superpower is because of the people aged 50-75 who are keeping the country afloat because they are either Christians or were raised in a Christian culture. I think after these people retire or die the US is going to fall because the young people only care about themselves. Women can just support themselves and don’t need to support a husband or have children and men can just watch pornography and play World of Warcraft all day.

If women are supporting themselves, and men do nothing but play video games and watch porn all day, who is supporting the menz? Is that seriously what you guys do all day?

Pfft. Dad probably gave you guys my allowance, which explains why I have to work so many damn hours. Thanks a lot.

I guess what I am trying to say is that God had a plan for men and women and if you don’t follow the plan the system falls apart and chaos ensues. The plan as I understand it is for the man to be the leader and the woman to support them. The man then goes out and does amazing things because he has the support and love of his wife. Without women to support men, there won’t be any amazing things anymore and the world will slide into mediocrity which is is what I think about the world we live in today.

Shorter: I need someone to stroke my ego and tell me how fantastic I am, or else I fall apart.

Seriously? The system fails if women don’t do what? WTF? IBTP.

Everything is mediocre now and nothing new or innovative is happening anymore. The fact that I am a complete failure is a good sign that the rapture is imminent because it shows that the United States is going to collapse soon when talented males can’t complete college and get Phd’s because they can’t find the motivation to do it because there are no women who will support them because all the women are getting Ph’ds themselves afterwhich they will probably not make any major scientific discoveries. It is this mechanism which is destroying America.

That -he- is a complete failure means the world is about to end? I can’t even begin to comprehend the level of stupid that was required to make that statement.

He is a failure, men in general are failures, because women are seeking higher education?

I have never met a man who became great on his own. In fact, I have never met a man who completed college without a woman’s help. All the great men that I know of had women helping them. On the other hand there are guys who divorce their wives when they get old and find someone younger. That is very damaging.

Hey, wait, maybe he’s not so stupid after all. /snark

The Rapture Ready boards are overflowing with Teh Stupid. If you can stomach it, go read a few posts. If nothing else, it’ll provide you with some interesting morning entertainment!

Apparently I have new neighbors.

Which, you know, cool? Right?

Yeah, not so much.

When they have the music blasting, and I hear it from across the common area, it’s all well and fine. They listen to pretty much what I listen to, so there’s no conflicting music like when the family next door to me decides a fiesta (srsly?!) is a good idea on a Friday night.

Apparently, this evening, they found a wolf spider on their back deck. How do I know? Considering they live across a fairly decent sized common area behind me?

Because they are 1) loud as fuck and 2) use the word fuck way more than me. Who knew it to be possible? I guess it is. And it seems to be the only word they really know.

Hopefully, they’ll be barflies and my patio nights won’t be completely trashed. Although, from what I’ve seen (heard) the last few times I’ve been out there? Yeah. Summer? Trashed.

When you can make me turn around and say, “Wow, you’ve got a potty mouth,” well, that’s not really an achievement anyone should be proud of.

Assholes.

Yup, cranky. And I can’t even blame it on the red tide. And the afternoon started out with such potential! Oh well, time for an attitude adjustment. I’ll be over here sticking my fingers in a light socket and seeing what a little bit of shock therapy can do for me.