Remember that little stove mishap over the weekend? Well, the landlord got someone out on Tuesday to take a look. Yeah, Tuesday. I know, nice.

At any rate, dude looks it over, replaces the part that blew up and informs me that while that’s fixed, there’s another part that needs to be replaced as it shorted out when the bitch blew. A part which he wasn’t quite sure he’d be able to find due to the age of the stove. While he’s hunting it down, I have three working burners and a functional oven - as far as I know, I haven’t tried to use the oven yet.

Anyhoo, I’ve trekked about a hundred miles around the office today (and in these shoes? ow!) and came back to my desk with my phone chirping and telling me I had VM. VM is sometimes like a little piece of candy to me, a delightful little way to break up the monotony of the day.

Sadly, this was more like a piece of day old dried up white bread. Just an inquiry from the landlord as to whether or not I was satisfied with the work that was done and whether or not he could close the file.

Uh. No.

Apparently, repair dude didn’t bother to call him and inform him of the status. He knows now, believe it.

Heh, although, in my haste, I forgot to mention that the MRS is back.

Arg.

Wikipedia describes it thusly: Typically, the scope increase consists of either new products or new features of already approved product designs, without corresponding increases in resources, schedule, or budget. As a result, the project team risks drifting away from its original purpose and scope into unplanned additions. As the scope of a project grows, more tasks must be completed within the budget and schedule originally designed for a smaller set of tasks. Thus, scope creep can result in a project team overrunning its original budget and schedule.

Sabre describes it as follows: “Are you fucking kidding me? When the hell did this get added to the reqs doc? Whose brilliant idea was this? GDI, someone is getting a smackdown!”

Although, it should be noted that Sabres, being somewhat intelligent, don’t respond that way outside of the confines of their small group. Rather, Sabres send out diplomatic emails to the PM noting their objections and expressing concern over their team being expected to come up with unmanageable solutions in unreasonable time frames. Politely. One may even say, if one were so inclined, in a non-adversarial fashion.

*ahem*

From the I Really Should Stop Reading This Shit department:

Kidding, right?

“Ah, this is the dream,” I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: we’d both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).

[...]

Oh, I know—I’m guessing there are single 30-year-old women reading this right now who will be writing letters to the editor to say that the women I know aren’t widely representative, that I’ve been co-opted by the cult of the feminist backlash, and basically, that I have no idea what I’m talking about. And all I can say is, if you say you’re not worried, either you’re in denial or you’re lying. In fact, take a good look in the mirror and try to convince yourself that you’re not worried, because you’ll see how silly your face looks when you’re being disingenuous.

I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she’s talking about women my age who don’t have kids, but even then, really? Are you fucking kidding me? A 40 year old single woman’s secret desire is to have a husband?

Fuck me with a chainsaw. That’s just stupid.

The most basic explanation ever of why Huckabee cannot be allowed to be the next Preznit Numbnuts:

Forget the pandering to the Religious Right. Forget the ignorant comments about Mormons (oh you fucking idiot, you really said that didn’t you?) Forget everything and go with common sense, of which he clearly has none.

And people seriously wonder why I hate his guts?

Gentlemen, come here. Mistress Sabre feels the need to impart some wisdom on your asses.

I have a couple of guy friends, pretty decent sorts overall, who are on various dating sites. Which, you know, fine. But these guys also happen to be in long term relationships. Of course, that’s sort of taking away from that whole “pretty decent sort” thing, but there you go.

Fran and I generally refer to this as the “Angelina Jolie Syndrome.” As in Angelina Jolie could very well be right around the corner and a fellow would be wise to keep his options open. Because, you know, Angelina wants you.

*cough*

I’ve been mulling this over in my head a lot over the last month. You could say I’ve had reason to consider all of the ramifications of this trend, but really, let’s just not go there.

Guys, you are right, there -is- someone prettier, smarter, nicer, sexier than your girl. There always will be. And yeah, she might even want to go out with you. So go ahead, keep your options open. Do your thing. Cruise the dating sites, hell register on the trashy hook-up sites, get all freaky with it.

And while you’re doing your thing, don’t look so fucking surprised when your girl gets tired of the bullshit and starts considering -her- options. Because there is someone hotter, smarter, nicer, and more respectful than you. There are men who don’t spend their free time thinking the grass is greener in the neighbor’s yard and trying to figure out how to hop the fence with no one the wiser. Sooner or later, she’s going to realize that, and you will be history.

Believe it.

Representative Steve King (Repug-IA) is sponsoring this insanity:

H. Res. 847: Recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith

First Amendment, motherfucker!

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

Treaty of Tripoli, bitch!

Article 11: “As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Mussulmen; and, as the said States never entered into any war, or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties, that no pretext arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.”

Who elects these assholes? Seriously, own up to it, because I’m coming to your house and kicking your fucking ass.

So, we have snow, right? Bad enough I’m freezing my delicate little bottom off, but I have to contend with crappy drivers, too?

*insert copious amounts of swearing here*

What the hell is wrong with the entire DC Metro area? It’s not a blizzard, people. You can go faster than 5 miles an hour. No, really, I swear, you can do it. Unless, you know, you are hitting the beltway flying down the on ramp. Then, you might want to slow down a little bit with your damned SUV.

Fuckin’ idiots. I’m going to have Dad reserve a special place just for you.

If the elevator still reeks after your hippy ass has gotten off on your floor, maybe that’s a sign that you should be a little less liberal in your application of your morning patchouli oil.

If the elevator still reeks 15 minutes later, definitely lay off.

Good god, must you bathe in it?

Thanks for the migraine, asshole!

So the big news making its way through the feminist blog scene today is coming out of Colorado, where an anti-choice group is now attempting to collect enough signatures to get a measure on the ballot that defines a fertilized egg as a person.

A person?

*blink*

Of course, it’s being done to pave the way to outlaw abortion.  But I’m thinking if we are going to take it that far, let’s just do it all the way, shall we?

Hormone based contraceptives?  Going to have to be banned.  Sorry ladies, but it’s a known fact that your pill makes your uterus inhospitable to a fertilized egg.

Barrier based contraceptives?  They interfer with the natural order of things.  Banned.

You don’t even have to ask about emergency contraceptives, do you?  Banned.

Miscarriage?  That will have to be re-evaluated.  I’m sure we can find a way to get you on manslaughter, you egg killing godless heathen.

Abortion?  Clearly, that’s murder.  You are goin’ to the pokey, bitch.  And your doctor will be in the cell next to you.

I also suspect Colorado will need to institute, at a very minimum, required monthly gyno visits to ensure you are taking good care of the baby making machine.  If you are found to not be taking care of it, I’m sure that can be grounds for some lawsuit or another.

What else?  Ah, the most important thing of all.  How does that egg get fertilized anyway?  Oh, right, sperm.

Well, here’s the deal boys.  Every time you spill that and an egg isn’t fertilized, you are taking a potential tax payer away from the state of Colorado.  You are going to have to just stop that, right this minute!  Think about the children!

Oh, and as far as being able to use your fertilized “persons” as a tax deduction?  Don’t be silly, that would be going just a bit too far, don’t you think?

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, by Lundy Bancroft

I picked this up at Borders on Sunday and have been reading it nightly.  It’s absolutely frightening how many things I recognize.  There are a few things that don’t apply, of course, but reading it had me shaking at first.  The first day I picked it up, I skimmed through it, and was completely shocked to see my life being described down to the tiniest detail.  I literally had to put my hand over my mouth to keep from crying out, “Oh my god, how did you KNOW?”

Mr. Bancroft (yeah, it’s not some “feminist propoganda”, you jerk) has worked with literally thousands of abusive men and their partners and provides some amazing insight into how their minds work.  The most important thing I’ve taken away from this book thus far is that it’s -not- caused by substance abuse, no matter what we’d like to tell ourselves.  Substance abuse may facilitate it, but alcohol or drugs will not make a non-abusive person become abusive.  Period.

The addict (be it alcohol or drugs) who is abusive needs to address both issues in order to have any truly meaningful change.  The sad part is, the recovery rate for abusive addicts is rather low.

The only good part of that is the knowledge, and we need to tell ourselves this as many times as it takes, that there was never anything we could do to stop it.  There was no amount of compassion and help we could give to make it better.  It wasn’t going to change, and it was never our fault.

If you’ve ever been in an abusive relationship and were left wondering what the hell you did wrong, please pick this book up and read it.  It will really help.