Okay, I’m coming clean. I have a bad habit of texting while driving. I don’t do it all the time, because it’s a little difficult to keep your car going in a straight line when you are fumbling with your iPhone trying to hit the right letter.

I was hanging out with some of my girlfriends last night, and the subject of my other bad habit, speeding, came up. And I was chastised to hell and back about my speeding habits. Scolded and reminded that I’m somebody’s mother and should be thinking of them, especially my daughter who is still at home with me.

On my way home, I heard this awesome remake of Blondie’s Call Me and wanted to tell pseudo-hubby so I wouldn’t forget it. You have no idea how much I forget these days. Like forgetting that I could, oh, I don’t know, tag the damn song with my iPhone. The blonde is strong with me these days.

Read the rest of this entry »

Yeah, I name my cars. So what?

Now that I’ve let go of Grace (insert tears here) and Ethel (insert yippy skippy happy dance here) and gotten into just one car, I’m searching for a name for her. I can’t just keep saying “the car”, it’s just not me!

I’m also looking at new plates. And I have six characters to work with.

I need help people! Suggestions! Now!

No, that one isn’t mine. I have been too busy to take pictures yet.

I am seriously going to miss Grace. The only good side to this whole deal is I’m now only responsible for one car, one car payment, and insurance for me, myself, and I… on one car. I won’t miss Ethel so much, I truly despised that car, but I will miss Grace.

The guys at the dealership let me spend a little alone time with her saying goodbye, they were all pretty entertained by a girl being so in love with her car that she cried when she finally walked away. The manager told me I could come in and drive any of the Zs on the lot any time I get to feeling angsty. That was actually pretty cool of him. Guess what I’ll be doing when bringing the new car in for her routine maitenance?

When I’m done being depressed, I’ll post pictures of the new car. And eventually she’ll tell me her damn name. Till then, it’s just the car.

Okay, intelligent key fobs? Sorta cool. Push button start? Rawks. It’s definitely cool, it’s just not Grace.

The amount of energy I’ve put into wearing the mask I found shoved into a dusty corner apparently takes much more from me than I’ve realized. The mask is simply an attempt to retain sanity and dignity, when what I really want to do right now is scream and cry and try to hold on to things that need to be let go. So the mask stays, but maybe I should start eating a little more again and smoking a little less.

I’ve had an ongoing issue with weight, pretty much all of my life. When under extreme stress, I generally drop weight very quickly, to unhealthy levels (current BMI? underweight), with the exception of the couple of years that I packed on more pounds than I’m comfortable admitting. In the last week, I’ve eaten very little. The box of granola bars that I bought a couple of weeks ago is still sitting in my desk, begging me to partake of the crunchy goodness. But it’s not very appealing to me right now. Weird how women are with the whole weight/food thing.

At any rate, what does this have to do with traffic, right? Well, you know I have a rather interesting commute on a good day. I’ve got that one strip of ten miles or so that can sometimes take 30 minutes. Today? Over an hour from the start of 193 to the beltway.

And believe me, that was a good thing.

I’m guessing the lack of real eating, the stress I’m coping with, the weight of the mask of normalcy, the chain smoking… well, it’s certainly taking its toll. If traffic had actually been moving at more than 3 miles an hour, I would have caused a rather nasty head-on collision.

So I’m watching the clock because I know I’m going to be late, listening to nonsense on Elliot’s show about orgies (gross, totally gross), thinking about the task list for the day at work and what I’m going to be doing tonight, planning out those first couple of weeks in November where I’m going to lose my little mind, you know, basic morning drive time thoughts. And then horns blaring at me, I’m well over the double yellow, and the clock has skipped forward.

So you see, I’m thankful for the craptactular traffic. Everyone was moving far too slowly for my drifting to mean anything. Maybe somebunny is looking out for me after all.

It certainly has given me something to think about. A different perspective, if you will, about what is important to me right now and what is not. Survival? Important. Dignity? Yeah, that’s important too. Pretending to be something/someone I am not? Really, not so important. Realizing that my friends really are going to be there for me, and are here for me now? Very, very important.

Here’s to a crappy beginning of a better day. It only goes up from here.

Before I get into this, let me clarify, I am a fan of the cell phone. I love my RAZR, it makes me happy, and it keeps me in touch with the kids when I’m at the office or stuck on the road. Of course, I am also a fan of Bluetooth and generally wouldn’t be caught dead actually holding a cell phone to my ear. It’s just not trendy
Read the rest of this entry »

So, you’ve had those days, right? You didn’t get enough sleep, you woke up cranky, the cat pissed in your shoes, and so on… The beautiful weather we had last weekend is now a distant memory, and Gothboy (who is also my own personal weather nerd) decreed earlier this week that we can expect snow today. Joy.

Work remains to be hectic, although there is a rumor that it will lessen somewhat in the very near future. I scoff. I haven’t been to the gym in over a week and a half, and considering that I like to go 5 times a week, well, let’s just say it’s starting to make me cranky. I think in the last month I’ve made it to the gym three times. *grrrr*

Read the rest of this entry »

From CNN: An 81-year-old woman preparing to take a test drive at a car dealership hit her husband, a salesman, a car and a tree before running into a wall.

I narrowly avoided being rammed by her twin sister (living doppleganger?) yesterday as she attempted to take a left hand turn from a right hand lane.

When I’m 81, feel free to revoke my license if I can’t see over the steering wheel.

When we bought the Z, my friend Rob, kept asking me about the tires on the front end. Rob, who is a fanatic about all things Nissan, kept insisting that I go outside and check for uneven tire wear and weird cambering. I dutifully looked at the tires and reported back that all was well in wonderland.

At this point, I must interject that it needs to be understood that I listen to the stereo loud when driving. Very, very loud.

Read the rest of this entry »

With the new job I have to drive quite a bit further than I did previously. No big deal, I like to drive. No, I take that back, I love to drive. It is quite possible that it ranks up in the top five things I like to do.

I get up at the crack of stupid in order to get on the road early and try to avoid rush hour traffic. I’m halfway to work before anyone else in the house wakes up. Mornings are generally pretty smooth. A short bit of highway that gets congested, but it’s over and done in about 10 minutes.

Afternoons are another story entirely. I leave work early (because I’m a good bunny and arrive early), again with the intention of avoiding rush hour traffic. And generally speaking, traffic isn’t as bad as it is at 5pm.

Read the rest of this entry »