Today is Christi’s 40th birthday. Or rather, would be her birthday if she were still here to celebrate it.

In August I blogged about what happened to her, as much as was known about it at the time. Since then, not much has changed. The low-life scum responsible for this is currently doing a little bit of hard time on an unrelated charge, but it is not enough. It will never be enough.

A long time ago, Christi saved my life. By looking at her life, I was better able to look at my own and see what was happening. And make some seriously needed changes to my circumstances.

Her disappearance, and presumed death, have, in a way, saved my sanity. I can’t really explain that, I wish I could. All I can tell you is that her death made me more aware.

The last several months have brought about many changes in my life. Changes in how I perceive the world around me, and how I perceive my own place in that world. Once again, I have removed the rose colored glasses and taken a good long look at things from a different point of view. All because of her.

Thank you, Christi. Be at peace, my friend.

Work, yeah, she is kicking my ass right now.  Been pulling ridiculously long hours trying to get the website from hell online.  When it’s finished, it may very well rock, but till then, it’s the bane of my mo’ fo’ existance!

For those who’ve inquired, and thank you for your interest (!!), my son and his girlfriend lost the baby.  :(  I just got my head wrapped around it, he just got his head wrapped around it, she just got her head wrapped around it… and gone.  They are heartbroken, as am I, but the universe, she be a fickle bitch.  Today was just not a good day for them, sayeth the universe.

Several of you have inquired about Christi, my friend who has been missing since April.  As of yet, she has not been found, but thankfully law enforcement has been given a little more time to connect the dots.  The piece of shit responsible has been treated to five years with no parole on an unrelated charge.  It’s not enough, and I don’t think there will ever be anything that is “enough”, but hopefully it gives them enough time to find her and nail his ass to the wall.

Goddess, please let me be one of the ones holding the hammer.

Life moves on as life will.  Through a tragedy I caught up with old actors in the play of my life and am sitting here awestruck at how grown up some of them have become.  And some of them… wow, just as beautiful as I remember.

There’s a lot more to say, sadly I’m at a loss for words these days (I hear you snickering back there, shut up, it happens) so I’m signing off for now.

Thanks for tuning into As Sabre’s World Turns.  Please leave donations and shiny gifts of love at the door on your way out.

Yours faithfully,

- Mistress Sabre

In the summer of 1988 I was slender, tanned, bleached blonde, not yet 21, and living life in all the wrong ways. I was a single mother who partied a little too much and stayed home a little too little. It was at one of those parties that I met her. A striking redhead, vibrant and beautiful. She was in the center of a large crowd when a mutual friend introduced us. We cliqued almost immediately. And thus began my long term love/hate relationship with Christi.

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Several weeks ago, my life went into yet another one of its infamous tailspins. It does this from time to time, to remind me, I think, that nothing in life is static. Everything is fluid, everything changes, and nothing is permanent.

Generally speaking, I’m okay with this. Change is necessary to the survival of the species, blah blah blah. Change is usually healthy. And at that particular moment, I was in the midst of preparing for a few changes anyway. Just not the one I ended up dealing with.

I don’t dislike change, I actually enjoy the challenge that usually accompanies it. What I do dislike, with an intense passion, is uncertainty. I absolutely hate the feeling of disorientation, of confusion, of doubt. So when my life took an incredible surreal aspect and I found myself in a position of free-falling, believe that I began to question everything. Everything I had done to that point, everything I believed in.

As is my nature, I turned to my most trusted confidantes. My girlfriends, my sisters. Here, there, everywhere. And without fail, every single one of you reached out to me and offered to help me regain my balance while the world spun around out of control. The compassion, companionship, kindness, and offers of everything from just going out and getting blitzed to getting beyond were, are, amazing. The email and messages, the phone calls, the hugs and office visits, all of it, unbelievable. And from some of the most interesting and unexpected corners of the world.

I needed to curl up in a ball and just cry for a few days, and you let me. And when it was time to pick myself up and forge ahead, you were there to help me up.

Thank you, so much. Each of you, all of you. I’m not naming names, you know who you are and you know what role you played. But ladies, let me tell you this: without you, without each and every one of you, I would not have made it through that without ripping my hair out and drinking myself into oblivion. Without your compassion and friendship, I would still be shaking and crying. Thank you.

I think life is mostly back on track now. Not exactly where I wanted it to be, but quite possibly exactly where I needed it to be. I’ve done things a little differently than some of you would have, but you had to know I would. You know how much I enjoy being contrary
I am ready, once again, to take on the challenges that are ahead of me. Because of all of you; because you all showed me one more time that we are never truly alone.

Blessed be.

My bestest friend in the whole wide world arrives at Dulles airport this afternoon! Yay me!

There shall be much laughing, cackling, and downright silliness in Sabreland this weekend! And maybe even a PIE tour of the metro DC area *snicker*

You have been warned!

I hope everyone had a splendid new year’s eve, with lot of laughter and good times.

Good times aplenty at Sabreland. Good friends, good food, and of course, good drinks!

And confetti. *mutter*