Once upon a time, in a Wonderland far removed from this one, someone gave me a beautifully personalized copy of the following. It served me then, and I guess it will serve me now. It reminds me that no matter what happens from here forward, what I’ve been through, what I’ve already managed to survive, has made me far stronger than I can sometimes believe.

When this was given to me, it came to me with a small stone with the word “AND” carved into it. I carried that stone everywhere as a reminder of who and what I am. Given that lately I find myself falling more often than soaring, I suppose it’s time to start carrying it again. At least until I can feel my wings once more.

Read the rest of this entry »

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

- Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear

Yeah, you’ve seen this up here a million times before. And I’ll repost it every single time I find myself faced with paralyzing fear.

Still waiting to wake up, with the foggy eyed realization that this has all been but a dream.

*sigh*

Alas, I don’t suspect that shall happen any time soon. The ears that need to hear are deaf, the eyes that need to see are closed, and the lips that need to speak are bound. Bad poetry, yes? But wait! There’s more!

—

From the nightmare I reach, and grasp to find only emptiness.
Wake now, wake!
Emerge from the tangled sheets, twisted with the sweat of anxiety and passions lost.
Wake now, wake!
Breathe the morning light, filling spaces long since vacant.
Wake now, wake!
Watch the dust glimmer upon the rays of the morning, calling their soft sound.
Wake now, wake!
Bring me from the brink of insanity, bring me back to this world.
I beg, wake now, wake.

—

via Feministing, blue blanket. A spoken word piece on the trauma of rape, words and video. Triggers abound, so it’s after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

Okay, participation time!  Break out your pencil and a pad of paper and get to scribbling.

The format for a haiku is very simple: three lines; first line is five syllables, second is seven, and the third is five again.

Give me more, says he
Entitlement issues rise
Whiney babies suck!

He demands his way
Witness his temper tantrum!
See him kick his feet?

Now, it’s your turn.  Go on, you can do it!

Pieces of Me

On worn and tattered pages
Ink stained and torn
Living memories and emotions
Small pieces of me

Odd, abstract thoughts
Flutter in and out of consciousness
Tears in the darkness
Rage in cold delight

In the silence of white noise
Bitter acceptance
As I begin the walk alone
A small voice cries in defiance

Yellowed pages boxed up
Old friends wrapped in ribbon
Gently closed and set aside
And I gather up the pieces of me

Pages of virginal white
Wait for ink to stain
Calm beauty comes forth
Wrapped in angels wings

Old memories sigh
Accepting their dismissal
They know that they were only
A prelude to a book unwritten

- June 2002