~ I was asked no less than three times today, “How do you walk in those shoes?” Uh, one foot in front of the other? *der*

~ Didn’t drop Grace off as planned because they won’t have her paint for three bloody days. Gah!

~ Got our Chili Cook-Off tickets in today’s mail! Yay! Now all I need is new shoes
~ “The Girlfriend’s Guide to Hockey” was delivered today and I’m skimming it while waiting for the work call to come in. Stop laughing, I can so learn new things! Although, the introduction is slightly disturbing… “Hockey in the Bedroom”. Uh… this is so -not- what I signed up for! Update: So like, this book? More innuendos than you can shake a stick at! Definitely the book for me!

~ Talked to an interesting lady on the phone today. You are more than welcome to read, comment, whatever you like. I don’t bite, and Cricket thinks you are the bee’s knees. Zach seems pretty taken with you as well. That highly thought of, you gotta be cool (Although, I didn’t have a chance to read the stuff you said you had up, you are private.)

~ Finally went through several hundred (thousand?!) emails in my various personal boxes and cleaned them all out. Found email from January that I never even saw! Sorry bout that
~ *mental note* Tweak junk mail settings on sabreland and other domains. I’m getting some disgusting shit in my inbox.

~ Just gave AT&T, and their $85 unlimited long distance, the finger and signed up for VOIP with Comcast.

~ On call tonight and am bored senseless waiting. Update: Oh yay, finally got the call. Let’s hope this goes well. Why, oh why, do I have a very bad feeling about this?

~ I have another migraine coming on. Mommy! Update: Yup, it just hit migraine status… and I’m stuck staring at lines of code for work.

~ There’s an episode of BSG with my name all over from Friday night. Maybe I’ll go zone out and pray work doesn’t call before I’m done! Update: Yeah, didn’t watch that, watched something else instead. Gawd, what’s happening to me?!

Thanks for tuning in to another riveting episode of A Day in the Life of Sabre. You know you wanted to know what’s going on in my world on this rainy Monday!

Peace, bitchez!

Our company is getting ready to relocate to a new facility, and in an effort to stop cramming us all into shared offices, they decided an “open collaborative environment” was the way to go. Great, I’ll be a cube monkey. However, on a positive note, my team’s upper management has approved Nerf warfare in the new facility. Rawk! On! I know a few guys who are goin’ -down-… and not in the nice way!

Meantime, since we are moving and having a complete office space make-over, it’s been decided that many items in the current building are up for grabs. Chairs, desks, bookcases, pretty much everything. I laid claim to the only currently available corner desk this morning. I got in early and my boss and I wandered the building doing a little bit of “shopping.”

Most everything that has been labeled as free has been spoken for. All items labeled such have bright yellow signs on them. The deal is, you get to it first, put your name on the sign, shoot an email over to dude down the hall, and it’s yours. Some wise guy decided to plaster everything else in the building with white signs.

One white-sign item has become a hotly prized commodity and several of us are bidding on it and prepared to scrap it out. What could such an item be? Is it a fax machine? Perhaps an uber snazzy coffee pot? One of the many copies of Monet?

Nope!

It’s the personal items vending machine in the ladies room.

That’s right, bitchez! We are fighting over the tampon dispenser! Now how often do you think -that- happens?

*** What? You think I’d tell you guys where I fricking work? Hells no! You’ll be wanting in on the tampon action too, and there’s already too much competition!

Found this really cute site today via one of the oh so horrible meanie poo-poo head feminist sites I read.

Postcards From Yo Momma is damn cute. I’m oscillating between pouting because I don’t have a mother to giggle about like this, and praying to the FSM that I don’t find something I’ve sent to my own kids on there!

Check it out, have a giggle, and then call your mother and tell her you love her.

As I’m coming in to the office today, I’m chatting up one of my super duper nerd pals in the elevator. Comparing stories about the weekend, the usual.

As I run through the litany of everything that happened this weekend, he turns and looks me up and down, snickers a bit, and says, “Yeah, you’re a rock chick. You need to see about getting on Rock of Life.” And then there we are, both of us, coming out of the elevator, throwing the goat and laughing our asses off.

Oh well, if nothing else, I know all the funny stories I bring into work manage to make people smile, laugh, shake their heads, and wonder what it’s like to be me.

Trust a bitch, it ain’t easy!

A guy posts on a forum that his 91 GT-R was stolen after a prospective “buyer” took it out for a test drive and didn’t return. He posted tons of pictures and information about the car and all the details he could remember about the asshat who drove off with it. Another forum member recognizes the stolen vehicle at the local mall and gets pictures of both the car and driver. The thief is found on Facebook using said pictures. Via Facebook, they get his name, address, and workplace. Long story short, forum members end up locating the car at the address they found. They box it in and call the cops.

Read it all, it’s funny as hell.

Who says there is no real community on The Interwebs?

Me: You know, I really like (name withheld), he’s always so nice.

Officemate 1: Oh, you mean the guy who has a crush on you?

Me: He does not!

Officemate 1: Who else sends emails at work that say “I really like talking to you?”

Officemate 2: Oh, he’s crushing.

Me: *indignant* He was just saying I was nice.

Officemate 1: He likes you.

Officemate 2: He does.

Me: What do you guys know?

Officemates in unison: We’re guys! We know.

Me: *walking out the door* Whatever!

Officemate 2: Bowchicabowwow!

Yep, this is how I spend my days!

Blog note: The title refers to the comment thread on myspace. You’ll have to look there to see what the hell was so amusing.

Once you get to be my age, and haven’t managed to actually settle down into a comfortable life time commitment, you tend to have a lot of stories about breaking up, and the little lines people use when they really just don’t know what to say.

And, of course, usually being the one who is getting dumped, instead of the one doing the dumping, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to figure out what this stuff really means. So for your entertainment and amusement, here’s my list of favorite breakup lines (yes, I’ve heard every single one of these) and my interpretation of what they really meant.

Give me your favorites, and interpretation, in the comments!

I need some time on my own.
Not really, I just don’t want to date you anymore and can’t really find a good enough reason.

We’ve grown apart.
Actually, you’ve grown a lot, and I’m not really capable of growth. Change scares me.

We want different things.
You want to be with me, and I want to be with a lot of other people.

I’m just not ready to be in a relationship at this time.
Seriously, I just want to score, a lot.

I love you, but I’m not in love with you.
What I mean to say is I can’t really stand to wake up next to you anymore, but we had some good times, so I’ll keep your phone number for when I get hard up.

I need to find myself.
A friend turned me on to this great hookup site, and I’m pretty sure I can score more if I don’t have to spend time with you.

I need some space.
Stop calling and texting me. I know I told you it was fine, but when I said I was out with the guys, I was actually out looking for a new girlfriend and she wants you to stop texting me.

I just want to be friends.
I think I found someone else, but just in case, I’d like to keep you around.

It’s what’s best for you.
I’ll be out sleeping around, and you aren’t going to like it much.

And my all time favorite:
It’s not you, it’s me.
Okay, really, it’s you. I can’t stand looking at you anymore. Okay, maybe it is me. But I’m going to blame it on you anway.

It occurs to me that I’ve become very cynical. Wonder if there’s any medication for that?

It occurred to me today, as I sat here sipping my coffee and staring at my monitor, that I am firmly addicted to Craigslist. And before you pervs get all worked up, not the personals! Jeez.

Missed connections… sometimes it makes me giggle and sometimes it makes me sniffle. All those people putting it out there trying to find the person they passed in the mall or made eye contact with on the Metro… amazing.

And RnR? *bwahahahahahaha* All I can say is that there are some seriously messed up people in the area. Seriously. Oh lordy, and ugly to boot! Stop posting pictures of your jello butt!

And who in their right mind asks for relationship advice from the tools on Craigslist? Are you kidding me? That’s funny as hell. Thanks for the laughs! I’ll be back throughout the day to watch the sharks zoom in on your ass.

Okay, check this out: The Right Brain vs Left Brain.

When I initially look at the image, I’m apparently right-brained.  But if I glance away and then look back, I would appear to be left-brained.  Glance away and back again and I’m once again right-brained.

It’s really neat.  Try it!  See if you can make the dancer change direction.

Okay, so I’m an intellectual liberal, right? I enjoy talking politics, deconstructing religion, reading science mags, etc. I read feminist and other liberal blogs, I vote, and I’m a conscientious shopper who tries like hell to push my dollars towards companies with policies that I agree with.

And I like zombie movies.

Apparently, this is some strange enigma to Tetris. He can’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that I like them. And, to make matters worse, he giggles at me! The nerve!

Yanno, just bite me. Really. Cuz dammit, zombie movies are just too much fun to pass up. And Ash? Still my hero.

*hmph*