From the Why Do I Read This Shit Files:

My morning perusal of various blogs and forums brought me this lovely bit of joy that I simply had to share with you:

I just wanted to add something about the women’s movement and my experiences. I graduated from high school in 1992 and I remember the year that I graduated all the girls in my class were totally obsessed with going to college and had no interest in the boys. I don’t think anyone in my class dated to be honest. My class was a bunch of mostly loserish guys and psycho obsessive girls bent on proving they were the same as men(which I don’t believe they are).

Clearly, because -he- couldn’t get a date, no one was dating.

Satan has totally tricked men and women into thinking they don’t need each other. Men with pornography and women with women’s lib. I have to actually applaud Satan at how smart he is. He has totally destroyed the male population and put women in charge. That would be ok if women really were exactly the same as men but that is a lie too.

Hey Dad? While you are out destroying the souls of men with your evil, evil pornography, do you think that maybe you could put me in charge of something cool? This guy says you are putting women in charge. Why am I always left out?! Why have you forsaken me?!

*ahem*

Moving on.

The world now is a complete perversion from God’s plan for us. The only reason the US is still a superpower is because of the people aged 50-75 who are keeping the country afloat because they are either Christians or were raised in a Christian culture. I think after these people retire or die the US is going to fall because the young people only care about themselves. Women can just support themselves and don’t need to support a husband or have children and men can just watch pornography and play World of Warcraft all day.

If women are supporting themselves, and men do nothing but play video games and watch porn all day, who is supporting the menz? Is that seriously what you guys do all day?

Pfft. Dad probably gave you guys my allowance, which explains why I have to work so many damn hours. Thanks a lot.

I guess what I am trying to say is that God had a plan for men and women and if you don’t follow the plan the system falls apart and chaos ensues. The plan as I understand it is for the man to be the leader and the woman to support them. The man then goes out and does amazing things because he has the support and love of his wife. Without women to support men, there won’t be any amazing things anymore and the world will slide into mediocrity which is is what I think about the world we live in today.

Shorter: I need someone to stroke my ego and tell me how fantastic I am, or else I fall apart.

Seriously? The system fails if women don’t do what? WTF? IBTP.

Everything is mediocre now and nothing new or innovative is happening anymore. The fact that I am a complete failure is a good sign that the rapture is imminent because it shows that the United States is going to collapse soon when talented males can’t complete college and get Phd’s because they can’t find the motivation to do it because there are no women who will support them because all the women are getting Ph’ds themselves afterwhich they will probably not make any major scientific discoveries. It is this mechanism which is destroying America.

That -he- is a complete failure means the world is about to end? I can’t even begin to comprehend the level of stupid that was required to make that statement.

He is a failure, men in general are failures, because women are seeking higher education?

I have never met a man who became great on his own. In fact, I have never met a man who completed college without a woman’s help. All the great men that I know of had women helping them. On the other hand there are guys who divorce their wives when they get old and find someone younger. That is very damaging.

Hey, wait, maybe he’s not so stupid after all. /snark

The Rapture Ready boards are overflowing with Teh Stupid. If you can stomach it, go read a few posts. If nothing else, it’ll provide you with some interesting morning entertainment!

Apparently I have new neighbors.

Which, you know, cool? Right?

Yeah, not so much.

When they have the music blasting, and I hear it from across the common area, it’s all well and fine. They listen to pretty much what I listen to, so there’s no conflicting music like when the family next door to me decides a fiesta (srsly?!) is a good idea on a Friday night.

Apparently, this evening, they found a wolf spider on their back deck. How do I know? Considering they live across a fairly decent sized common area behind me?

Because they are 1) loud as fuck and 2) use the word fuck way more than me. Who knew it to be possible? I guess it is. And it seems to be the only word they really know.

Hopefully, they’ll be barflies and my patio nights won’t be completely trashed. Although, from what I’ve seen (heard) the last few times I’ve been out there? Yeah. Summer? Trashed.

When you can make me turn around and say, “Wow, you’ve got a potty mouth,” well, that’s not really an achievement anyone should be proud of.

Assholes.

Yup, cranky. And I can’t even blame it on the red tide. And the afternoon started out with such potential! Oh well, time for an attitude adjustment. I’ll be over here sticking my fingers in a light socket and seeing what a little bit of shock therapy can do for me.

From CNN:

Clinton, Obama put politics aside to discuss faith

*sigh*

Nope, I’m not disillusioned at all.

I get that people have various beliefs. I understand that faith is important to them. But I’m becoming ever so disenchanted with the notion that a person’s faith is more important in today’s political climate than a person’s track record, intelligence, and reasoning ability.

I can has non-denominational politics?

The only large burner on my stove decided to take a nose dive last night. In a rather spectacular fashion, I might add. And when it went, it took the whole bloody stove/oven with it.

How so, you may ask?

So here I am, in major cleaning and cooking mode last evening, trying to prepare for some friends coming over to BBQ tonight. I’m cleaning like a mad woman, dancing all over the house with my duster (oh, do stop giggling, I can so dance!), with a pot of potatoes going on the stove. Because, you know, potato salad is always better when it’s made ahead of time.

I wander over to check on the progress of my lovely little friends, and lo! What do I see? Nothing. I see nothing. Not so much as a tiny bubble rising from the pot.

Please to be recalling that this place I call home is not, shall we say, up to today’s standards.

I’ve had some issues with this particular burner before. It’s temperamental, sort of like yours truly. So I give it a little wiggle, as that had worked many times previously. Because, you know, when in doubt, wiggle or kick.

*BAM*

Sparks fly three feet across the room, and I stand there, completely dumbfounded. I wander down to the basement and try to reset the breaker, but alas, it doesn’t want to be reset.

Now, it should also be noted that by this time, all I needed was one little push to set off the tears due to something completely unrelated. And that’s all it took to get it rolling, so of course, the brain is not fully engaged.

I kick the wall, curse a blue streak, you know, the usual.

Eventually, I did get the breaker to reset. So I wander back up the stairs, stare at the stove warily, move the pot to another burner and note that even though all the dials are in the off position, the stove top light is shining brightly, taunting me. As I scratch my head in wonder, the bad burner decides it’s a good time to display some more fireworks.

Except this time? There was shrapnel. Sparks and metal, flying across the room. Pretty! Not really so much, but a girl has to have something to smile about!

Needless to say, at that point I pretty much gave up on ever using it again. Hell, I don’t even like looking at it today, it scared me that badly. So no stove, no oven. Yeah, that makes someone who likes to cook oh so happy.

This morning, I wake to find that something (probably the raccoon from last summer) has had dinner in my garbage can. Well, rather, he took the dinner from my garbage can and strung it across the yard. And neglected to clean up after himself. Furry little bastard.

So after cleaning up a mound of garbage, I decide it’s a good time to get busy with the yard work. The mower complained, the weed-eater is being a total and complete bitch, and I’ve pretty much hit my limit on how much fun I can have today.

And I’m supposed to be entertaining tonight?

Seriously?

At this point, all I can manage to entertain is the thought that at some point, the universe is either going to cut me a break, or I’m going to become the next highway shooter.

So this morning I had to go get more testing done. Oh joy of joys! I never did get in touch with anyone yesterday to find out if I should fast or not, so I erred on the side of caution and didn’t eat anything last night and stopped drinking before midnight. Not even my beloved bedtime glass of water!

And of course, no coffee this morning. Keep that in mind as you peruse my tale of woe, friends, I was decaffeinated.

Read the rest of this entry »

Please note, it’s roughly 2:45 in the afternoon. This is important data.

I called the facility I’m supposed to be going to for more testing (omg, I am so sick of being poked and prodded!) only to be greeted by a very poorly worded recording blathering on about the address and hours of operation. *ahem* Hours of operation being Monday through Friday, 7:30 am to 4:00 pm.

I waited paitently to be directed to press 1 to speak to someone in English, press 2 for Spanish, press 3 to nuke the place. Why? Because I have questions! Do I need to fast? Should I come in the morning or afternoon? How long will the tests take?

But nooooooo, none of that happens. The recording instructed me to call back during normal business hours…

The hell?

Has the entire world gone stupid on me?

Logic, rational thought, and common sense were run over and killed. They will be missed.

*sigh*

I really need to stop reading the news and become one of those people who just doesn’t give a damn. How do I do that? Any ideas?

From the I Really Should Stop Reading This Shit department:

Kidding, right?

“Ah, this is the dream,” I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: we’d both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).

[...]

Oh, I know—I’m guessing there are single 30-year-old women reading this right now who will be writing letters to the editor to say that the women I know aren’t widely representative, that I’ve been co-opted by the cult of the feminist backlash, and basically, that I have no idea what I’m talking about. And all I can say is, if you say you’re not worried, either you’re in denial or you’re lying. In fact, take a good look in the mirror and try to convince yourself that you’re not worried, because you’ll see how silly your face looks when you’re being disingenuous.

I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she’s talking about women my age who don’t have kids, but even then, really? Are you fucking kidding me? A 40 year old single woman’s secret desire is to have a husband?

Fuck me with a chainsaw. That’s just stupid.

It’s been a month, people. A really bad month. Health, work, financial, personal, you name it, it’s all falling down around me and I can’t keep up.

First, though, the good news. The urine cytology came back negative for malignant cells. I’d celebrate, but I still have to have the damn biopsy. That lovely little bit of fun is scheduled for the end of February.

Why so late? Between their schedule and my work projects, well that’s about the only time it can be done. I’m feeling pretty confident that all is well in the internal workings of Wonderland, but you know, that whole C word thing really fucks with my head. According to the lovely man who will be pulling out pieces of my bladder for further examination, it’s possible for the cytology to come back negative but still be, well, you know.

I had a major disappointment at work this week, and on top of that, I had the rug pulled out from under me as well. Between a meeting on Tuesday, a weird turn of events yesterday, and another meeting today, I’m actually pretty surprised you can’t see the tire tracks on my back from the bus I was thrown under. But hey, let’s all keep our spirits up and knock this project out!

Yeah. I got your fuckin’ team spirit right here. *middle finger* You know, there’s no “I” in team, but if you add an extra e, there is an “eat me.”

Next project on my list is at least with a team that doesn’t have unrealistic expectations. Well, sometimes they do, but when I explain to them why it’s unrealistic, they do the oddest thing. They listen to me. Strange that. *kisses their way*

Financially, well. Yeah. That’s a bit of a mess right now, but if I can just find some time to take care of two lousy things, I’ll get that squared away quickly. Please, mister, can you spare some time?

And I’m so not touching on the personal stuff right now. I’m feeling pulled from several directions and spending every day being more confused about which way I’m supposed to go. Pretty soon I think I’m just going to go completely insane, and that will solve that little issue right there.

Too bad I can’t get paid for being crazy, I’d be rich!

And now I’m off to finally move my personal sites off of my old host and put them on my new host. Uh, Sabreland? Yeah, she’s going down for a bit. Maybe that’ll be the incentive I need to finally finish installing WordPress and getting it tweaked out correctly. I’ll back up her db and hopefully be able to import it into WP when it’s up. Ha!

That’s it, that’s all. I apologize for not having my usual nonsense and goofy stuff up here, but it’s been a bit too overwhelming for me.

Peace, bitchez!

I’m not always the best person I should be, but some words floating around today have helped me to realize I’m not a total waste either. I respond and react in ways that are uniquely my own. Granted, not always the best ways, but I’m human and am prone to making mistakes.

*platitude deleted*

I’ve tried to be perfect for a very long time. And, naturally, I’ve failed. But believe me, no one can make me feel worse about it than I make myself feel. You can try, but it won’t work, because I’m pretty sure I’ve already beaten the crap out of myself enough for all parties involved.

I’m done with trying to be perfect. I never expected anyone else to be, just myself, contrary to what some people may think. I’ve been dogging the hell out of myself for the last week, and I’m pretty much done with that too.

Yeah, I think I’m done.

With all of it.

Self destruction will continue as scheduled. Phase one complete. Phase two complete. Phase three initialized.

Peace, bitches.